Ups and Downs

So as of late Ive had my ups and downs, but let me first begin with something good. Friday August 12th I went with Shaun and his parents and uncle to Rough River and we were on a boat like all day haha it was the most amazing day ever. I was soo great spending the entire day with Shaun, like i was with him from 8AM to like 9PM it was the best day ever! Like I just love him soo fucking much, Ive never really felt this strong of a love or connection with someone, it feels great. All the time we spend together is the best he knows just how to make me smile, he makes me feel loved and safe when he holds me in his arms, i hated having to say goodbye when he dropped me off. With him I can just step out of my comfort zone, like I didn't care about how I looked or that my hair was a bloody mess, he even thought i was beautiful just like that :D shoo and i even farted on him 3 times lmao ive never done that to anyone.. well besides my parents lmao. Point is, he perfect for me and I love him, hes my everything and uknow I just wanna be with him forever <3 That day will add to another one of my favorite memories of us, and im sure there will be plently more that r even more amazing. haha not to mention we have some ideas for another boat trip ;) hehe he knows what i mean. And also I feel like his parents like me alot more now, and i really dont feel as shy around them and uknow I really like his parents, they r so very nice, and im thankful that they do so much for me and shaun, like picking me up and taking me home, letting me stay for dinner, and taking me and shaun places. It makes me feel alittle bad tho that my parents dont seem do much or show much interest in my relationship...

So for the bad part, well as of late ive acquired a toothache that like to wake me up at night, tis y im typing this till my meds kick in. Trying to get to my completely unreliable dentist seems impossible. And A sunburn on top of that isnt too thrilling either. I woke up this morning with little to no energy, all i wanted to do was lay in bed and rest. But I had a movie dat with the family to see the last Harry Potter (which was really good btw) and on the way there and back my mom makes her little comments about how stupid and useless I am, and yells at me when I ask for more details on certain things... I mean dont blame me for your stupid brake up, i could tell from the beginning it wouldnt work. Anyways we come home to find our dog abby made the house a mess while we were away, and mom threatened to take her away and take her to the pound. I cried alot cause of it, just when i thought i didnt care about dogs, that i hated them, I cried because I loved her and I didnt want her to go.. Every other dog ive had were always forcibly taken away from me, either by death or gotten rid of or ran away. Honestly I dont want that to happen anymore, sure living things do evenually die, but my dog chase was killed because some fat ass bitch didnt care for him, and i couldnt since my dad decided to move to columbia. Which brings me to another topic.. my dad who sat there in person and said to me and my moms face that he would pay half of my school fees, decided today that he wasnt gonna pay it, thats thats what child support is for, and its funny cause he hardly ever pays it. It really hurts to know that my own father doesnt even tae care of me and hasnt for the past like 5 years, it feels kinda like he walked out on me. I mean seriously what does he do for me? And another thing I hardly EVER see him. I feel so naive for not even realizing these facts, how foolish of me, but i think about hurt hes gonna feel once im out on my own, when i have a family and when I wont have any time for him. When i start working and have school, i wont have the time to come see him, I wonder how thatll make him feel?

Alright meds kicked in and its time for bed yet again, goodnight