Christmas Drama! X_X

Well once again theres been another inncident reguarding child support. Something that shouldnt even be brought to me or any of my business. My mom cashed both checks that my dad owed her and thats when the shit hit the fan. My dads truck broke down for a week and then later he was fired and then the next day found a new job. Apprently my dad was very "low" on money and they have been "going without food" Which is totally bull shit cause i know what goes on there. So because he was so mad at my mother for taking money that she is by all means ENTITLED to. He decides to tell me that he's gonna put a lean on my car. I was so pissed because why should i have to suffer because he cant learn to handle his money? Ever since i was born my dad has always been one of those who has to keep up with the jones and spend spend spend! When he wants something he gets it and doesnt think about or care about his actions. Yea their starving yet they make WEEKLY payments on a RENT A CENTER big flat screen tv and a stand? Common sense would tell u to take the tv and stand back to free up some money for food? Also they have a 32 inch tv why couldnt they have used that instead of going out to RENT that tv? not to also mention that my grandma or tammy's sister would let them go without eatting. This is some major bull shit. My dad tried to say he had already put a lean on his lawnmower and his "star wars toys" WTF no bank is gonna give u any kind of loan on some kids toys dumb ass. And also since he appearently took out a 500 dollar loan a week before theres no way he can take out another until he pays off the last one. Im just done i cant believe my own FATHER would try to make money off of my things, he didnt even buy me that car my uncle troy did. And now i want it in my name and thats exactly what im going to do. I dont care if i have to pay the taxes on it. Its mine and i want it along with my other stuff at his house. When I get everything from there im done with him. Im tired of him acting like a child. He doesnt care about me nor does he want to take on the responsibility of having a kid. Im sorry you have to pay child support but uknow its not my fault, i didnt get to choose my parents. Im DONE with you. Youve hurt me enough for the past 6 years of you never being around. The years where I needed a father the most...

Death, War & Love

Well its been awhile since ive been on here. Theres been so much thats been going on lately. Bad and good. So well start where we left off. Im finally 18 and you would think things would change once you hit that point in your life but no they dont its pretty much the same which is some bull shit but oh well. Anyways someone very important to Shaun recently died and that was so sad, I was there for Shaun most of the time. And him and his family are doing a bit better from my opinion but hopefully this Christmas will be good for them even tho to them it wont be the same :'(. Alot of times I just wish i could do soo much more for shaun.

As for me and Shaun weve been doing pretty good. Going on 9 months that we've been together. I love him to death and I see myself always being with him. Here lately we've been fighting alot and its both ours faults I believe, but i think I can understand were his change in mood is from... he cant help it. I just wish we could stop fighting as much cause its always over the dumbest shit. Alot of times hes grumpy and doesnt tell me why and that makes it worst im just glad hes starting to stop that. I need to work on my anger, ive had so much for so long, sometimes I fuck up and say the wrong things and im soo sorry for that.

Now for something positive, So over thanksgiving break Shaun went with me to spend the weekend at my dads. GOSH IT WAS THE BEST WEEKEND EVER. After that weekend i felt sooo much closer to him. We had sooo much fun. Whats bad is that little butt knows what I got him for christmas! haha oh well i know he got me the new Zelda for christmas!! haha Anyways I love Shaun soo much he's unlike any guy in the world. He's true, handsome, caring, honest, fun, random, loving etc etc. No one makes me more happy than him. Me and him really want to get married cause we just know thats how its gonna be. I want to be married to him more than i want anything. I want to fully belong to him. I want him to fully be mine. Sure we fight but we always get over it fast and our bond with eachother is strong. I can't wait for the day when he pops the question, he says ill never expect it hehe thats so cute <3 That day will be the best day of my life. I want to be with him and only him forever. And when he took me to see Breaking Dawn and they had the honeymoon he kissed me and told me im not telling you where were having our honeymoon <3 hehe isnt that just soo cute? But I definently know what song me and Shaun will dance to first when we get married. And that is A thousand Years by Christina Perri. That is our song <3 haha I think God for giving me such an amazing person to have by my side and always be there for me. If it wasnt for shaun lord knows where id be now. Gosh 5 more damn months and im out of school! then i can work at UPS and go to JCTC and FINALLY MOVE DA FUCK OUT with shaun of course, we've been saving for a while haha. I cant wait for that.